Apparently a heroin substitute was dumped into their tank during the rave. Whether it was accidental or a practical joke remains to be seen, but the drug certainly messed up the poor animals. The drug switches off the part of their brain that notifies them to surface for air, so they merely drifted underwater. The dolphins reportedly shook and foamed at the mouth, but ultimately trainers were unable to save them.

So here’s a lesson for Swiss ragers: keep your drugs to yourself. There’s nothing funny about our favorite ocean mammal friends OD’ing.

And he really follows through. At the end of what is sure to be the most horrifying week of that kid’s life, Deville keeps him promise and actually attacks the birthday boy or girl, smashing a cake in his or her face. He clearly has learned to capitalize on the whole clown-fear complex.

Deville assures customers it’s “all in fun” and will back off if the kids are too frightened. But he claims most children love it. Maybe their sadistic parents love it, but as someone who is afraid of clowns myself, I can say confidently that I’d be in therapy for the rest of my life if my parents destroyed my childhood innocence like that.

So, to conclude, finals may suck but at least you’re not getting stalked by a frightening clown.

Q: So the book is based on two BC students you met — what about them caught your eye and inspired you to include them in your novel?

A: I had in mind for a few years the idea of writing a novel that takes place on the BC campus, for a bunch of reasons: it’s scenic (all the Gothic architecture), it’s got a rich history behind it, and I spend a lot of my life here. Further, it’s fun to turn a place you know in “real” life into fiction. Then two or three years ago two students (who were dating) came for a visit in my office. I heard them coming down the hall and talking to each other in that low, familiar way that couples do, and I was intrigued and charmed simply by their tone of familiarity.

Q: This novel has been compared to “Harry Potter”—why did you decide to connect that series with Boston College?

A: As it turned out, one of the students played Quidditch at BC at some point and wrote an essay about it for a class of mine, so I thought in order to get to know my characters better I should read a Harry Potter book. I loved it, or would have loved it had I been twelve, and it occurred to me that a lot of students at BC love those books but have long since read them. And so I thought maybe I should write a kind of Harry Potter sort of book for college-age people.

Q: Do students need background knowledge about the Holy Grail and other Jesuit traditions to appreciate this book?

A: You don’t need to know anything much about the Grail legend since the characters in the book don’t know a whole lot about it, and when they realize they are being sucked into a hunt for the Grail and that it might be at BC, they wiki it of course (I did for research for the book) and so the reader learns along with the students.

Q: You’ve got some pretty intimate knowledge of the BC social scene in the book (the Mods, hook ups, etc.). Are these true stories? Does this student culture play a big part within the plot?

A: As any good fiction writer, I did a ton of research for the book, part of which was learning from all of you what you do, how you talk, what your values, fears, hopes, concerns are. I made lists of slang terms and collected anecdotes to put in the book, all of course to make it more realistic and recognizable to everyone here. So student culture in general plays a huge part in the book.

Q: What is the biggest reason you think a BC student should pick this novel up and read it?

A: The book is about love, and I know how difficult BC students may find dating and finding meaningful connections. I hear stories all the time from my students of broken hearts, longing for love, dismay at the hookup culture. But Grail Mysterium is not one more lecture (yawn) about how dating is good for you; it’s a Harry Potter— like adventure, with magic and dragons and incantations to open secret doors!

Q: Is this just one book, or can we expect a series?

A: There are a lot more places to write about (the Newton Campus figures prominently in the second book, Satanis Mysterium which should be ready next year), and of course there are always students with new ideas and new concerns and new slang! So excited–I just learned “YOLO” from my students! So I’m already busy on the next adventure, and I’m hoping the books become welcomed as part of the BC community. Interested students can purchase Grail Mysterium: An Adventure on The Heights by Thomas Kaplan-Maxfield on Amazon online. Students searching for adventure outside of literature should remember the professor’s famed treasure hunt: anyone who can solve his list of clues and locate the brooch pictured above, which is hidden somewhere on campus, will receive a reward of $2000 (roughly the wages of a camp counselor for an entire summer). So whether you are interested in phantasmagoric stories or thrilling treasure hunts, check out “tkaplanmaxfield.com” for more information

Now is the time to really branch out! Find some out-of-the-box sites to keep me occupied for hours at a time! I don’t need Youtube or Reddit. Here are some classics:

Do you ever feel like watching some penguins? How about a live penguin cam at a zoo? Watch them slide around on their bellies, eat some fish, waddle around, and you know, other penguin stuff. Check it out: http://www.montereybayaquarium.org/efc/efc_splash/splash_cam.aspx

Are you hungry? Looking forward to a summer of home-cooked meals? Enjoy new recipes? Well how about some food porn? Now don’t let the title freak you out. It’s just images of really, really good-looking food. You can select a category, randomly click, or search details if you want to know more about it. Don’t question it. Just go there and salivate: http://www.foodporn.net/

Are you angry after your exam? Feel like burning all your notes before you’ve even studied them? Maybe you should look at some adorable puppies. As in the Daily Puppy. Every day a precious little canine is featured, with its name, favorite activities, and some very cute pictures. As an added bonus, if you’ve never been there, you can look the puppies of the day for months back… http://www.dailypuppy.com/

If you want to feel vaguely productive, you can try Sporcle, or as they call it “mentally stimulating diversions.” You can take quizzes on literally any topic, from Harry Potter to world capitals. So pick a “name the presidents” quiz to feel intellectual, or a “most popular cartoon characters” one if you just want to have some fun. Hey, they’re quizzes. It’s basically studying: http://www.sporcle.com/

If you want to get a little deeper, try PostSecret—it’s a blog where people can send in their deepest secrets anonymously on a postcard. The creator of the blog receives thousands of postcards and posts images of the best dozen from the week every Sunday. So enjoy the creativity and read about other people’s deepest, darkest secrets. And imagine crafting your own about a certain professor who’s currently making your life miserable… http://www.postsecret.com/

1. The Breather

The Breather is actually dumber than it sounds. It’s called “Breatharianism” and is based off the idea that people can live off of the Sun…so they don’t eat. That’s right. Breatharianism entails simply not eating. Obviously doctors advise strongly against this practice because prolonged periods of fasting lead to starvation.

2. The Tape Worm

Ah, the age old Tape Worm Diet. It sounds like something they did in the years before common sense. This diet includes ingesting a tape worm in a cysts and letting it grow inside you. First of all, ew. The worm attaches to the intestinal tract and absorbs nutrients from the food you eat. It is rumored that this diet will help you lose 1-2 pounds a week, but it is both dangerous and just plain gross.

3. The Cotton Ball

Did you think cotton balls were just a trusty household item? Think again! Next time you’re using a cotton ball to remove your nail polish or makeup, consider the fact that you’re eating someone’s meal. The cotton ball diet is supposed to be make up in fiber what it lacks in other nutrients, but of course it doesn’t. Snacking on cotton balls is just weird.

4. The Six Pack

A beer (if you’re over 21 of course) as a diet? Yep. As we all know, beer is exceptionally high in calories, but for these people, beer meant weight loss. Oh wait no, they just thought it did. People thought a cold beverage diet would work because it would take your body more energy to digest. Results: People drinking alcohol to lose weight….to put it nicely, this was a fun way for people to pretend they were losing weight.

5. The Caveman

The cavemen got it right, right? No. That’s why we’ve evolved. Still, people insist there was something there. The Caveman diet entails eating what the presumed diet of the caveman was during the Paleolithic era. The diet includes lean meat, fish, vegetables and fruits and excludes grains, dairy products, salt, and processed oils.

6. The Genesis

Kickin’ it old school. But I mean old old school. This diet consists of eating foods exclusively mentioned in Genesis 1:29. They are all natural, raw, and vegan foods. It also recommends exercising and relaxing.

7. The Sleeper

Ever slept through a meal? Well this diet plans on sleeping through all of them. The sleeping diet consists of eating less as caused by…well…not being awake. Caution: may sleep through starvation. Simple and dumb enough.

8. The Chewer

Chew more, lose weight. Believe it or not, this one actually has thousands of advocates. The idea is that you must chew each mouthful 32 times then tilt your head back to allow the food to slip down.

9. The Lemonade

This diet has also been called the “Master Cleanse” which celebrities such as Beyonce made famous. Apart from taking laxatives in the morning and night, the dieter drinks a mix of lemon juice, syrup, cayenne pepper, and water as a substitute for food. According to specialists, cleanses like these should only last three to seven days, as opposed to the 10 day or more cleanse that celebrities go on.

10. The Glasses

If you’ve ever refrained from eating something because it looked gross, then you might want to try (but don’t really) these awesome blue glasses! They are a pair of glasses with blue tinted lenses that make your food appear gross. So go ahead and waste your food by throwing away whatever’s in front of you just because you won’t take off your glasses and go to the gym to lose weight like a normal person.

The Gavel sat down to interview Alex Lee and William Thompson, two Eagles who have worked all year to create their new vintage clothing brand, XXBC. Their styles have stood out all around campus, and we wanted to hear their story.

If you’re looking for more XXBC, check out the links below!

http://www.facebook.com/XXBCbrand

http://www.XXBCbrand.com/

Pictures taken from:

Filmed by Video Manager Meghana Kuthyar
Edited by Video Staff Member MaJo Guillen
Narrated by Video Staff Member Luisa Navarro

1. “Live your life with no regrets.” Aw, how sweet! Just think about looking back to the end of the year with no remorse. Don’t over-study and destroy your health, but don’t ignore your textbooks and ruin your grades either. Thank you Stall Number One!
2. “I believe in you.” There you go. When you start to feel anxious and worried, just know that a random stranger who once used that bathroom really cares about you. That’s comforting.
3. “You are loved.” As bad as things get here at school, just remember your parents at home who are wishing all the best to you. You’ll be with them in a couple weeks, free for the entire summer!
4. “<3 1911.” Slightly more difficult to interpret, but I’d imagine someone was trying to help with your exams. Important event of 1911: the Mexican Revolution. Now you’ll remember.
5. “Be who you are, say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Moving aside from wondering why someone had the time or motivation to carve that entire Dr. Seuss quote onto the wall whilst in the bathroom, just remember that these grades will not end you. You’ve been proving yourself the entire semester, so now just refresh your memory with moderate studying, take the final, and get out of there and ready for months of relaxation ahead!

There you have it. All along, this meaningless graffiti has had a purpose! Once decoded, these scrawled notes are kind words of support to help you through finals. Stay tuned for advice from Cubicles in the Quiet Zone.