Time to get real: The 5 real winners of the 2012 Emmy Awards

Let’s face it.  Nobody cares about the Emmys, besides the cast of “Modern Family” who collectively walk away with… well… just about every award.

As if the Emmy Awards were not worthless enough, “Two and a Half Men” won three out of the four awards that it was nominated for, beating out “How I Met Your Mother,” “30 Rock” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” to name a few more deserving programs.

Still, the night was not a total loss.  Forget who walked away with the most statuettes — these five people are the ones who truly won this year’s Emmy Awards.

5.  Amy Poehler:  This former Eagle looked damn fine as she strutted her stuff across the red carpet, fresh off of her split from longtime hubby Will Arnett.  Work it, girl!

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4.  Julianne Moore:  Moore played Sarah Palin in the movie “Game Change,” which won four Emmys.  Her acceptance speech, which called Palin out for hating the movie, upset many conservatives.  More upsetting was her terrifyingly yellow dress, but I like to think that she looked tacky on purpose— to come full circle with her role as Palin.  Well played, indeed.

3.  Jimmy Kimmel:  If you were on Twitter last night, you probably saw at least one tweet along the lines of "OMG, Tracy Morgan just passed out on the Emmys. Turn ABC on now!"  As it turns out, Kimmel set the whole thing up to trick the Twittersphere.  He told viewers to tweet that exact line, and see how many people tuned in right at that moment to find Morgan passed out on stage.  You're so sneaky Jimmy!

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2.  Judd Apatow:  Judd Apatow’s post-loss tweets, most of which consisted of shameless selfies, were absolute gold.

1.  Nick Loeb:  Who is that, you ask?  Oh, just the person who is about to wifey up Sofia Vergara. Her Twitter followers didn't make out half bad, either. Warning! NSFW.

She may have been basking in the glory of the four Emmys that “Modern Family” won, but I think we all know who the real winner is here.

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School, major and year: A&S, English and communication, 2014

Hometown: Acton, MA, but my parents recently moved to Beacon Hill, which is way cooler.

What makes the Gavel so BANGin’? Everyone is just the perfect amount of weird. It is one of very few environments in which I don't feel like the weirdest person in the room.
If you could go back in time and give yourself a pep talk the night before you moved into BC as a freshman, what is the most important piece of advice that you would give to your former self? I would offer myself a friendly reminder that everyone comes to college friend-less, and therefore looking for friends. Before coming to BC, I pictured myself eating every meal in solitude because I forgot that I wasn't the only person who would be entering day one without really knowing anybody. That was silly of me.
What is your favorite study spot on campus? Stuart law classrooms.
What is your go-to meal at Late Night? Mozzarella sticks.
What is the #1 most played song on your iTunes? "Gong Li" -- Red Hot Chili Peppers.
What is the best Halloween costume that you have ever worn? I was a Hershey's kiss as a toddler. Aaaaaand I rocked it.
If you could befriend the main characters from any TV show or movie, who would you choose and why? "The Office," because I have always thought that Jim and Pam would appreciate my sense of humor.

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