"How I Met Your Mother" Episode 3: Bangtober Fest

This week’s “How I Met Your Mother” gave us the newly single Barney Stinson and the return of his old playboy/con artist ways. Well, almost.

As Barney struggles to get his womanizing mojo back, he comes up with “Bangtober Fest”, which is an event lecherously dedicated to one-night stands with t-shirts included. The only awesome thing about this is that it wittily coincides with the overwhelming presence of actual Octoberfest pictures on my Facebook news feed this month. Other than that, Bangtober Fest is just a sad shadow of Barney’s former clever and hilarious self. It’s all Quinn’s fault.

That being said, Barney’s lasciviously genius plan to trick young, job-hunting nannies into sleeping with him by convincing them he is a rich, single dad initially appears hilarious. However, my friends, I would be lying to you if I said I did not over-think this plan and no, I am not sorry about it. Here is my conclusion: Barney is a huge creep.

If Barney’s scams were applied to real life, no woman would want to touch him with a ten-foot pole. A grown man luring young nannies into his apartment with the fake prospect of a job in order to have sex with them is straight-up creepy. That’s a Dateline special right there. Nancy Grace and Anderson Cooper would have a field day with that headline. We’re talking “Hey kid, want some candy? Get into my van” creepy. Ok, maybe not that creepy.

I still love Barney Stinson and because he’s on TV it’s basically impossible for him to be an actual creep, right? That was my profound moment of truth last night, in case anyone wondered.

Marshall and Lily fall victim to Barney’s nanny con as they search endlessly and unsuccessfully for a nanny to watch Marvin when they return to work. Barney makes up for it by paying for the elderly, sugar, spice and everything nice nanny who is out of Marshall and Lily’s price range.

But, my God, is it really necessary for Barney to sleep with her? This is scene is disgusting/disturbing/flat out gross. My roommates and I let out a collective expression of disgust when we watched this. New low, Barney, new low.

Last but definitely not least, we have Robin and Ted. Both are struggling with their new relationships. Nick is a sensitive crybaby who Robin sees as girly and Victoria is a slob. Victoria is a lot of other things, but I will spare all of you from my anti-Victoria rant.

Also, Robin is in no place to complain about Nick’s girly tendencies when she had been in a long-term relationship with Ted who is arguably one of the most high-maintenance, girly boyfriends ever. Nevertheless, Future Ted informs us that both relationships will “implode in the next month”. I can’t claim surprise.

Tune in Monday at 8pm for episode 4 on CBS!

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