If you are one of the 600 sophomore residents of Walsh Hall, at least twice a day, you have the distinct pleasure of checking into your dorm with Riccardo and “Mich.” Whether you choose to acquaint yourself with “The Walsh Doormen” on a personal level or merely a friendly level is completely up to you.
However, what most people fail to realize is that these two men are the omniscient over-seers of everything pertaining to Walsh Hall. Deny it all you want, but let’s be real, Riccardo and Mich most likely know more details about your personal life than some of your own roommates. So, if you are worried that Riccardo and Mich know your dirty little secrets, then you should definitely check out the hilarious parody twitter account @TheWalshDoormen to make sure your reputation is still intact.
Think you are slyly sneaking out of Walsh to go meet your secret rendezvous? Well think again. All Riccardo and Mich have to say to that is, “I bet you would be shocked to know what ladies sleep out on a Tuesday night #weekdaystyle #upyourgamechicks.”
However, if for some reason you decide to act differently and obnoxiously play up your promiscuity to “impress” the late-night lobby bystanders, your attempts are futile. Riccardo and Mich see right through these heartbreaking efforts. “You make it all too easy to discern from the cool and uncool #latenightvsdatenight.”
Therefore, take care this Halloween week and consider your comings and goings in Walsh. Think about it. What would Mich and Riccardo say?