It was like any other peaceful night in Walsh. I was hanging out in one of my close guy friend’s rooms, when all of a sudden I saw my mom’s call request on Skype. For a second I debated whether I should leave the room or just stay to pick up the call. Then I made one of the worst decisions of my life. I decided to stay.
As soon as my mom’s video popped up I could feel her anger and confusion through my computer screen. She started bombarding me with questions, “Is that a BOY’S room? Why are you in a BOY’S room at night? Do you have a boyfriend you need to tell me about? Why are there so many boys around you? How can you have so many guy friends and NO BOYFRIEND?!” and all I wanted to do was press that red button and hang up on her.
My parents are pretty lenient and open-minded compared to other parents I know, but one of the few things they can’t seem to wrap their heads around is how I can be JUST friends with so many guys. The thing is, my parents aren’t the only ones who deem it impossible. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been asked if I thought boys and girls could have a platonic friendship.
Now, I’m not saying that I’ve NEVER had feelings for any of my guy friends, but I’m a firm believer that it’s possible for guys and girls to have a platonic friendship. I’m not trying to brag, but the majority of my college friends are guys who have great personalities and are attractive, yet I’m not praying that all of them will be my Valentine.
A platonic friendship is extremely easy to maintain if you don’t find your friend either physically attractive or love their personality (although, I don’t know why you would be friends with someone if you don’t like WHO they are).
I may sound shallow for including the “physically attractive” part, but let’s be honest. We all have some sort of taste when it comes to finding someone “cute.” Just embrace it. Girls, I hear you talking about how cute his butt is in those jeans, and boys, I see you turn your heads every time I drop the word “boobs.”
Saying that girls and guys CAN have platonic friendships doesn’t mean that it’s IMPOSSIBLE for either party to fall for each other. It actually happens really easily. I’m sure during freshman year, I crushed on most of my guy friends.
The thing is, it’s super easy because if you like their personality and think that they’re attractive (despite all the things you know about them), BAM you just crossed the line between friendship and love, and have the perfect concoction for a crush.
I’ve noticed that guys and girls have a different view on crossing that line, which makes keeping a purely platonic friendship difficult.
Under the assumption that the boy/girl likes their friend as a person and thinks they’re somewhat physically attractive, boys (for the most part) think about having some sort of sexual relation with their female friends. If the opportunity arose, for example, dancing together at a party, a DFMO (Dance Floor Make Out) could conceivably happen.
On the other hand, girls (for the most part) don’t get DISGUSTED at the thought of having something with a guy friend, they don’t really WANT it either. So if by some coincidence the “sexual” factor gets mixed with “great personality” and “physically attractive,” it can lead to complications and the ultimate recipe for developing a crush for someone.
Whatever the case, I can promise you from personal experience that platonic friendships between boys and girls are possible. Just remember, you’re walking on thin ice!