I miss high school. Yeah, I said it. I miss the strict administrative rules, the brightness of the fluorescent lights at 7:30am, the constant parental supervision, but there’s one thing that I miss most of all- school dances.
They encompassed our best attributes all in one setting: awkwardly engaging in small talk at the punch table, awkwardly dancing, awkwardly pulling at our strapless dresses or ties, awkwardly attempting to pin on a boutonniere (I’m convinced that there’s no effective way to do it), awkwardly avoiding our dates all night… did I mention just being awkward in general?
Well, luckily for us out here on the island (ahem, I mean Newton), we have the chance to experience the transformation of the Yellow Room into a high school gym, Stuart into a less-than-appetizing Italian restaurant, and the front of Duchesne into, well, a somewhat lesser form of a destination spot for pictures. That’s right people. Newton Prom is upon us, and we get to relive the magic of high school all over again, awkwardness and all.
Wait, you didn’t know that prom was tonight?! What are you going to do?! You’re way behind on preparations, and there’s no way you can get everything together on such short notice. However, we’ve done this before, so no worries! Just take care of the following 10 things and you’ll be ready to cut a rug and dance the night away in style.
1. Dress to impress
‘Fess up. You totally brought at least one fancy dress/suit to college with you to be prepared in the event of a spontaneous classy gathering, didn’t you? Of course you did! Well now’s the perfect time to break it out! Boys, brush off that suit that’s been collecting dust on the back shelf of your closet all year. Girls, go crazy! You know you had a blast picking out a short, sparkly dress for your high school junior prom and now you get to do it all over again, so don’t let it go to waste! And as a general rule of thumb, a girl can never have too many accessories so break out the bling while you’re at it.
2. Improvise your best corsage/boutonniere
The little flower accent on your wrist/lapel completely bump your outfit up another three or four points on the classiness scale. And it’s a universal fact that every girl has the same fond memories of desperately trying to pin the boutonniere on their date and miserably failing (I made my date’s mom pin it on him for me). You probably don’t have the time or money to go out and buy a corsage, so it’s time to put those arts & crafts skills to good use. The aspiring Martha Stuarts can fold up some origami flowers using the napkins from Stuart. If you’re not that crafty, just pluck a flower from outside, glue it to a hair-tie, and voilà! Instant corsage!
3. Have a fancy dinner
You know it’s a big night when Stuart breaks out the tablecloths and the massive bread mountain. Maybe the dinner won’t be five-star-restaurant quality, but it will still be better than microwaving some Easy-Mac in your room. Grab a group of friends and dine in style like the classy ladies and gents you are.
4. Perfect the quintessential “prom pose”
Whether you wanted to or a parent forced you to, everyone has taken a prom picture that looks like you’re giving your date an uncomfortable Heimlich maneuver. Well here’s your chance for a do-over! This time you’re going to do it right. Grab a friend from your dorm and practice, practice, practice!
5. Take pictures in front of Alumni House
So maybe it’s not the most picturesque backdrop for your prom photos, but it sure beats posing in front of the Duchesne Hill. Have fun with it! Line a group of friends up along the stairs, do a few Charlie’s Angels poses, make silly faces! Most importantly, make sure to put these pictures on Facebook and laugh at all of your friends when they comment how jealous they are that you got to relive prom again.
6. Rent a limo to take you from Duchesne to Stuart
Newton bus? Puh-leaze. You’re so much classier than that. Even though you could walk to Stuart in a few steps, that shouldn’t stop you from rolling up in style and unleashing your inner supermodel. Also, a few doves wouldn’t hurt.
7. Take some selfies when you get there
“Selfies in the bathroom mirror?” you scoff. “That’s so high school.” Well here’s your last chance to let out the high-schooler that you’ve been trying so hard to repress in college. Grab your friends, purse your lips, and make a duck face like your life depends on it!
8. Bring flat shoes
It happens to everyone. We all think we’ll be fine in our sky-high stilettos and refuse to pack a pair of flats in our bag, and within the first hour of dancing, everyone is barefoot and there are discarded heels littering the sides of the dance floor. Rock those heels for the pictures, but make sure to put a pair of flats in your bag for later so you can dance your heart out without worrying about someone stepping on your bare little piggies.
9. Request some throwbacks
You’re reliving your high school prom, so why not dance to the music you listened to then? Go up to the DJ and ask him to put on “Yeah!” by Usher, or “Sexyback” and dance the night away while you sing along to every word. And to all the fabulous women who went stag, you’d better be throwing those Sasha Fierce hands up during “Single Ladies.” Which brings me to the last tip…
10. DANCE YOUR PANTS OFF!!!
How many more dances like this will you get to experience in your lifetime? I’ll answer that: probably none! This is your last hurrah! Everyone’s together, everyone wants to have fun, everyone wants to dance. Thrust those hips during “Apache,” whip your hair like Willow Smith. Most importantly, JUST HAVE FUN!!
Article co-authored by Samantha Costanza and Mary Yuengert.
Only child who regards all her friends as siblings - whether they like it or not. Obsession with all things pop culture, television, and theatre (verging on slightly unhealthy). Cant' remember the last time she went to sleep before 2am. Gets into heated arguments with anyone who thinks New York pizza is not the best food on earth.