"Dexter" Episode 5: This Little Piggy

"Well the family that kills together..."

So it seems that the Brain Surgeon is done once and for all. Because that's the way it 'seems,' there's about a 99.9% chance that there's more to it. For now, however, we are forced to settle with the idea of AJ Yates as the now deceased killer, Vogel as the innocent sexagenarian (lol), and the relationship between Deb and Dexter being just peachy after their successful elimination of Yates. While last episode ended with Deb's attempted murder and a crazy killer on the loose, this episode miraculously solved almost all of the developments of the season thus far while still being relatively boring.


Dexter gets sassy

The episode starts off with perhaps my most favorite side of Dexter ever to be shown in all eight seasons: sassy. Vogel has called for some sort of hey-you-tried-to-kill-me family therapy session, during which Dexter makes several sassy remarks against both annoying ladies and then sashays out of the house in the middle of it. Deuces. Unfortunately the sibling relationship appears to have repaired by the end of the episode. Ugh.


He finally joins the rest of the human population in being annoyed with Deb.


Yates: A jack of all trades

Foot fetishist? Yes. Killer with mommy issues? Yes. The Brain Surgeon? Maybs. Yates literally leaps into this episode through Vogel's living room window to kidnap her and take her to an abandoned house for some footsie time. While it seems that all hope was lost for Vogel's pinky toe, she remembers that she's a psychiatrist who happens to know of all his deepest insecurities and vulnerabilities (duh). Cue a reenactment of him being raised by an abusive mother ("Only my mom called me Albert! Waahhh my name's AJ!"), complete with Vogel slapping him around for good measure. Shockingly effective, horribly awkward to watch.


Vogel is not pumped about the pliers.

The intimate session between the two is marred once Yates realizes that Vogel had sent out a call to Dexter, allowing him to find their location. When Dexter and Deb arrive on the scene, Vogel is tied up in a closet and Yates is literally hiding under the bed. (Really? This is the Brain Surgeon? No way.) Ever the stud, Dexter makes a kebab of Yates by skewering him with a curtain rod, straight through the bed. It was a crazy move that wistfully reminds of Game of Thrones tactics. Sigh. However, getting rid of a primary killer of a Dexter season is never this easy. I'm staying tuned (on Vogel...).


Dexter 2.0?


Teach me your ways, sensei.

In a turn of events, the classic rich-guy-kills-his-mistress is developing into something much more interesting. Hamilton, who was the primary suspect for the murder of woman he was having an affair with--his maid--is looking more and more innocent while his son, who was sighted at the woman's house just before her murder, is looking more sinister (pink polo and all). The preview for next week (I've noticed that all the previews give away the entire next episode...) shows that this preppy potential murderer just may be the next up and coming Dexter! Big shoes to fill! Vogel is über excited to have a new killer to teach her "code." She is way more into serial killers than any normal Dexter fan should be, and I'm suspicious. Vogel may or may not be breeding a whole army of luscious-locked brooding killers. Because in terms of this being 'good' for society, so far she hasn't been all too successful.



Awkweird double date.

Miscellaneous thoughts

- Masuka's daughter definitely wants dat dough $$$$$... With the telltale sign of "Oops I left my purse in the car, but if you're willing to pay lemme order that extra burrito," Masuka was smart to employ Deb to investigate the situation.

- Dexter's mysterious new neighbor may just be hot enough to get Hannah involved again. Nothing brings a crazy ex-girlfriend back onto the scene faster than a new love interest. However, Jamie's attempt at forced match-making was really weird and clearly not something Dexter would be into, which became glaringly obvious when Dexter schemed a blatant escape five minutes in. New hot girl (forgot her name--she's not important enough yet) was surprisingly game, so there may be hope for them yet!

Watch Dexter Sundays at 9PM on Showtime. 

All screenshots courtesy of Showtime.