"Dexter" Episode 7: Dress Code

"Trust me, Dexter is not a mystery that you want to solve."

The episode from last week was pretty whatever: Besides the cliffhanger at the end when Hannah appears after having drugged both Dexter and Deb, there wasn't much to it. The only major thing to happen was that Dexter decides not to kill Zach (for now), even though he's a major creep. Not sure why he wants to take on a bratty teenage apprentice--this is probably just to keep the current plot somewhat more exciting.

You killed someone without me?? You're grounded.

You killed someone without me?? You're grounded.


Hannah's announces her return with roofies

The blonde bombshell killer of Dexter's dreams is back, kiddos, and of course the first thing she does is drug everyone. The last episode ended with all us viewers being so concerned about what she was going to do to them. Only to realize in this episode that she does...nothing at all to them. Deb wakes up feeling hungover on her living room floor (i.e. how she wakes up every morning).

So like, what happened last night?

So like, what happened last night?

Hannah has Dexter wake up alone on the side of the road somewhere, but that's really more indicative of a crazy night drinking on the town than the handiwork of a murderous ex-lover. Not sure where Hannah was going with this announcement of her return, but it wasn't all that threatening.


Deb becomes the jealous sister/spurned lover of Dexter

Upon Hannah's return, all of Deb's creepy love for her brother comes out again. Dexter tells Deb he's aware of his feelings for Hannah but unsure of what do to, and Deb awkwardly responds that she knows what it's like to fall in love with the wrong person. I really cannot understand this relationship. Did she forget that she tried to kill him like three episodes ago? Either way, Deb is jealous as hell and wants him to get rid of Hannah.

Don't hate me because i'm beautiful, hate me because your brother thinks I am.

Deb: Don't hate me because i'm beautiful, hate me because your brother thinks I am.

Deb speaks more intelligently than she has for the entire series with the super-dramatic line, "She is a vortex, she is a black hole, she sucks everything into her being, leaving nothing behind." Sorry she's better looking and has her act  together, Deb (albeit one of gold-digging and killing her rich husband). And unfortunately for the crotchety alcoholic, Dexter is definitely not going to follow through on her requests to make Hannah leave. Even Harrison prefers the pretty 'gardener' Hannah to the foul-mouthed angsty Deb. Next ep's preview shows that Deb is literally so jealous of Hannah that she snitches on her to Elway. Like Deb, please sit down/back off/relax.


Hannah now has $700 million? Or no?

So Hannah reveals to Dexter that she's married and her husband is worth a cool $700 mill., but that she came out to Miami to have Dexter kill him. Because he's a little clingy or something. I thought that was weird--I mean she has a giant yacht now, what's the big deal here?

I'd like to introduce you to the husband I'm about to kill.

Let me introduce you to the husband I'm about to kill.

However, when her husband finds out that Hannah and Dexter have been 'hanging out,' he has Dexter beaten up and basically attacks Hannah. I could see where she was coming from after that stint. Her husband's fatal mistake was forgetting Hannah's murderous rap sheet, and she kills him using tweezers or like knitting needles or something. Guess she didn't need Dexter after all (until she had to clean up the mess). But does this mean Hannah is on the run again? Or is she about to inherit the casino mogul's money? Nothing wrong with having a yacht or two on the side amiright??


Miscellaneous thoughts

- After all of Batista's prodding to get Quinn to study up and work hard to become Sergeant, Batista still gives it to Miller. Low blow.

- Much to my delight, Elway calls Deb out for being a rude and horrible human being. Glad someone's finally taking her down a peg.

- Turns out Masuka's daughter is like a stripper/Hooters girl? Guess genes really can determine your fate... Masuka gets very profound (or the most profound he'll ever be) saying "I've stared at a million boobs but until now I've never considered them to be daughter boobs." Not sure how this is going to play out though I doubt it's going to matter at all.

-  Who killed Cassie? Probably Zach but who ever knows with these things???? This should've been played up more, as it's kind of a big deal that Dexter's semi love interest/next door neighbor/whatever  was just murdered.

- There's only five episodes left?? I'm not ready for this to be over.


Watch Dexter Sundays at 9PM on Showtime. 

All screenshots courtesy of Showtime.