Opinion: An Open Letter to Return of Kings

Dear Return of Kings,

In the About section on your site, you state that “women and homosexuals are prohibited from commenting here” and those that do “will be immediately banned.” So rather than post anonymously in response to your faceless author, I would like to state for the record, that my name is Julia, I am a woman, and I am shocked by what I have read on your website.

This letter was originally meant to address your recent article 5 Reasons to Date a Girl with an Eating Disorder. After reading this one article, I was speechless; after several others, I was positively sick with anger. Return of Kings, from what I have gathered, seems to be devoted to the objectification and degradation of women. Men finally have “a safe place” to discuss their frustration that women have the nerve to ask for gender equality. It’s about time!

To be completely honest, I am still holding out an admittedly unreasonable amount of hope that Return of Kings is an elaborate work of satire. The opinions shared are so outrageously archaic that they would be comical if they were not so offensive. One of the “community beliefs” states the claim that “a woman’s value is mainly determined by her fertility and beauty” while “a man’s value is mainly determined by his resources, intellect, and character.”

With regards to the article on eating disorders, to publish something which makes light of an issue with which both women and men struggle is appalling. This article stresses the importance of finding a girl who is insecure and manipulating those insecurities in order to become the ideal girlfriend who, apparently, is skinny, rich, and subordinate. It seems to me that the authors of Return of Kings have a single idea stuck in their brains that cannot be shaken out: women are playthings put on this earth for the pleasure and entertainment of men. I guess some men just need a few hundred more years to catch up with the rest of society.

However, I did notice that Return of Kings is providing an invaluable service to men. One author took the time to produce a series of articles entitled “Approach to Closing,” which explains, step-by-step, how men should go about the process of meeting a woman and taking her on a date, all in the hopes of having a one night stand. Basically, it consists of seven articles devoted to the honing of one’s “game” when it comes to sleeping with as many women as possible. But ladies, do not feel you are excluded!  Be sure to study these articles too, once you learn the tricks these gentlemen are using, you can begin to identify the cream of the male crop with little to no effort at all. Can we get a medal for the author?

Sarcasm aside, Return of Kings is, quite simply, pitiful. I would ask that those who run the site take down the shameful or offensive articles, but that would require a self-destruct button for the entire website, and I do so love the freedom of speech. I understand that I cannot tell people what to write, or even what to think, so I can only hope that one day, Return of Kings will join us in the twenty-first century. From what I can tell, the kind of men who would frequent this site are far from “alpha” so be sure to take note, ladies. Women who are confident, independent, and comfortable with their sexuality need not apply.

All I can say, at this point, is that I wish the authors of this site, as well as their readers, the best of luck in their endeavors. Just please remember to use a condom, the human race is not looking for the return of your particular brand of “kings.”

I want to thank you. I am not naive enough to think that all men are perfect gentlemen who appreciate women for their character rather than their looks, but it is after we experience disrespect that we come to understand the power of respect. So thank you for writing these sexist and demeaning articles, because they have confirmed that a person’s gender, race or sexual orientation is not what determines their worth. Judging by the overwhelming responses to your most recent article, I’d venture a guess that your website has planted you firmly among the minority, and that you have lost the respect of countless individuals. I read your response to the backlash you have received, and I must say that I am amazed by your ability to stay strong in the face of overwhelming opposition. Stand by your antiquated views! Don’t let the masses try and drag you into 2013! Your dedication to your backwards views is almost inspiring.

To the authors of Return of Kings: you claim to be at the top of the food chain because you are alpha males, but I am here to tell you that you are not, and your website has guaranteed your species a place on the endangered list.