BC prides its students on being men and women for others. With Christmas being so close, we’re hoping that this guarantees us a spot on Santa’s nice list. So, Santa, if you get the chance, we have a few Christmas requests:
1. Meal Money
This one is urgent. By urgent, I mean that this money was needed like three weeks ago. There was a rumor going around that UNICEF was starting a fund for Boston College students because of the rampant starvation. It’s not that we are gluttonous, Santa. Those bananas are just too expensive and those late night mozz sticks are just too enticing.
2. Indoor Escalator to Replace the Million Dollar Stairs
If I wanted to work on my glutes, I’d go to the Plex and get on the elliptical. There is absolutely no need for students to be walking up those icy stairs, with sleet in their faces, as their backpacks filled with textbooks weigh them down. If we put a bubble-type covering over those stairs and replace them with an escalator, then maybe our students wouldn’t need to carry around their emergency inhalers.
3. Gold Pass for the Library
It’s finals time so the library is packed. I say library, singular, because Bapst doesn’t really count as a library. It’s more of a gathering place for type-A personalities to work on their scowling faces (just kidding! But really…who knew that opening a backpack a little too loudly was considered a crime?). Anyway, it has been a little difficult to find that perfect seat in the library lately. There are some people who choose to flood the libraries during finals and midterms like the Holiday churchgoers. How about a Gold Pass for the library, Santa? The more that you go, the more points you earn, and the better chance you get of obtaining that prime study spot during finals week.
4. Elevators That Work
This one is self-explanatory. We all hate the fear of entering the elevators and wondering if it’s the last time that we’ll see our friends and family. Vandy and Walsh are not in Disneyworld—so the elevators shouldn’t be in competition with the Tower of Terror. Let us have safety this Christmas season (also, if we could speed up the elevators in Vandy, that would be appreciated)!
5. New Plex
It sucks to BU, except when you want to work out. The BU gym has a rock-climbing wall. The Plex has sloping ceilings and sweaty mats for ab workouts. BC is getting a new workout facility in a few years, but the need is immediate! There isn’t enough equipment and nobody likes those people who awkwardly stretch by the treadmills and bikes, waiting for a machine to open up. I guess the sweltering heat is okay, though. It almost makes you forget that you go to school in Boston.
6. Andre Williams Wins the Heisman
Santa, we need this one by Saturday night. Andre Williams is BC’s first chance for a Heisman since Doug Flutie. He is a poet, a philosopher, and a beast on the football field - that stiff arm is legendary. If you give us a Heisman, we will never doubt Santa again.
7. More Options in Lower
No more dry grilled chicken! No more philly cheese steak quesadillas! No more blazing bowls with uncooked vegetables! There are a lot of terrible things I can say about living on Newton, but Stuart isn’t one of them. There were always options in Stuart and there were hardly ever lines. Lower was supposed to be an improvement, but it has only been a disappointment. Bring back the magic of Stuart and Dorita!
Put in a good word for us, St. Ignatius, and let our dreams become realities.
(If this helps seal the deal…we do have some pretty good chocolate chip cookies and milk in Hillside.)
Feature and embedded image courtesy of the Boston College Facebook page.