As of last Thursday the Winter Olympics are officially underway, and the only people unprepared for the festivities seem to be the local residents and facilities in Sochi. While the athletes have spent their entire lives training for the gold, the hotel owners seem to have spent less than, or equal to 14 minutes training their staff to host the Olympics. If you ever find yourself thinking, “Wow, BC is so lame. I really wish I were at the Olympics,” THINK AGAIN. There are a million reasons why you’re better off in your pretty residence hall than in Sochi, but I’ll settle for giving you 10:
1. The water is safe for your face
Unlike in Sochi, all of the water used at Boston College is pumped in from the Quabbin Reservoir after natural and technological filtering processes. So you can totally wash your face with it, because it does not contain any dangerous chemicals. Yay!
2. You have a floor
Two claps for not waking up on top of the person who lives a floor below you!
3. You don't have to kill dogs
Sochi is unfortunately experiencing problems with the high volume of stray dogs, and government officials have decided that the only solution is to kill the dogs with poison or traps. Luckily for you, we aren’t allowed to have pets at BC.
4. You get to eat Chobani
The Russian federation’s federal service has yet to allow the U.S. Olympic Team access to their 5,000 cups of Chobani yogurt. I know. The horror!
5. You have bathroom walls
You might think it’s rough living in a freshmen dorm with a communal bathroom, but the athletes in Sochi are literally pooping next to one another. Without a wall. Or, like, a curtain.
6. You don't need a sledgehammer after showering
Unlike U.S. bobsledder Johnny Quinn, after taking a shower you won’t have to bust a hole through the door in order to escape the bathroom.
7. You'll avoid hazardous construction
So it took a little while to finish construction on Stokes, but that is nothing compared to the disaster surrounding the Olympic arenas in Sochi. Manholes are still being covered, and many hotels do not have lobbies or elevators. Even Walsh has an elevator.
8. You won't be hacked
NBC News reported this week that within moments of arriving in Sochi, hackers were able to access cell phones and laptops of all arriving guests. At least you can use BC’s wifi securely, right?
9. Your showers aren't recorded
Russian deputy prime minister, Dmitry Kozak, tried to address plumbing problems by saying, “We have surveillance video from the hotels that show people turn on the shower, direct the nozzle at the wall and then leave the room for the whole day.” Not only did he not address plumbing issues but also, HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT KOZAK?!
10. Toilet paper goes in the toilet
No throwing used TP in the trash can for you, you lucky dog! You get to flush yours like a big girl or boy.