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The 5 Worst BuzzFeed Quizzes

Who needs self-help books when you’ve got BuzzFeed? In the hip and modern world, life moves fast and so must we. There’s no time to linger on silly questions like who am I? or what is my purpose? I guess you could say I disagree, at times, with Maddie Webster.

The witty geniuses at BuzzFeed get us, and for that reason they introduced us to the world of BuzzFeed quizzes.

To say that I’m a tad obsessed is an understatement. My roommates and I spend most of our free time answering quiz after quiz, learning intimacies about our inner souls so profound that we’re provoked to take more and more quizzes. For example, I recently learned that if I ever reincarnate into a beard, I would most definitely be a sexy lattice beard or that my first child should definitely be called Solange (my second would be called Beyoncé?)

Predictions such as these carry us into the journey of getting to know ourselves, and for that I’ll always be truly thankful to BuzzFeed. And so will baby Solange, as she caresses my lattice beard and takes quizzes on what type of baby purée she should eat for lunch.

Sadly, BuzzFeed is not always so enlightening and sometimes they make some quizzes that are no bueno.

The first of these is the “Which one of Jesus’ Disciples Are You?”

Hmm…I bet it was nice to be one of Jesus’ disciples, but all I can think of is: old bread, lice (probably?), smelly clothes, and walking in the dessert. So yeah, I might pass on that one. But apparently I’m a Saint Phillip. Yay?

Image via blackdeepredcherry tumblr

Photo courtesy of Tumblr

Another I encountered was Which Possible Illuminati Member Are You?” The idea of finding out which cool and mysterious person I was seemed, well, cool. Then I got a fat Winston Churchill smoking a cigar.

Photo courtesy of Tumblr

The “What Kind of Investor Are You?” seemed boring from the start, but I nonetheless gave it a chance. Silly me, it basically questioned my intelligence and sent me on my stupid way to a quiz about which Real Housewife I am.

Image via campmojave tumblr

Photo courtesy of Tumblr

Another is “Which Minor “Friends” Character Are You?” Who are they again? Who knows, not me. Apparently I’m Joshua Burgin… Yeah, I’ll always be Rachel in my heart.

Image via fffriends tumblr.

Photo courtesy of Tumblr

Finally, I can’t even decide if the fact that this exists is hilarious or really sad but BuzzFeed recently made a “Which Ousted Arab Spring Ruler Are You?” quiz. I really think the title says it all, and in case you’re wondering, I’m apparently Hosni Mubarak.

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