How To Be a Social Media Sensation

You struck social media gold (or so you thought). The filter, the caption, the angle, the perfectly constructed froyo that you didn’t actually eat—you were set to go viral. Why, then, did your post fail to break double digit likes? If you can still see the individual usernames beneath your Instagram photo, something has gone horribly, horribly wrong.

Remember: your likes, retweets and shares are directly correlated to your success in life. So when you become a social media celebrity and therefore the coolest person you know, try to remember little old me.

 

Here’s what the research shows about maximizing virtual popularity:

 

Photo Courtesy of Genevieve Varela / Pinterest

Photo courtesy of Genevieve Varela / Pinterest

Facebook

  1. Post at the end of the week, preferably Thursday or Friday. As the weekend draws closer, we tend to procrastinate more and more. Happy, weekend-ready college students are the biggest suckers for liking an irrelevant update about your life.
  2. Keep it short. The shorter the post, the more likes and comments it is likely to get. If you try to post a soliloquy, the only person who will take the time to read it is your estranged great uncle with three cats and a hamster.
  3. Use pictures. Picture posts get by far the most likes, comments, and shares. Most Facebook stalkers would much rather judge your pictures than read what you have to say. Generally the very reason students are on Facebook is to procrastinate work—do not try to make them read more. And if you are at a loss for a picture, I find the duck face to be a like-magnet. Trust me.

“I find that highlighting a slightly raised eyebrow attracts the ‘lady likes’,” says Walsh media sensation Timothy Devlin, A&S '16. “I’m basically hot girl status.”

Photo Courtesy of Lynn O'Connell / Pinterest

Photo courtesy of Lynn O'Connell / Pinterest

Twitter

  1. Again, keep it short. All tweets are under 140 characters, but you need to allow space for the “@yourusername” and “RT” if anyone is going to retweet you. And let’s be real, everyone will want to retweet you.
  2. On top of short and sweet, try to make it hilarious. If you are not hilarious…. Awkward.
  3. Work the hashtag. The best way to extend your audience and attract new followers is to tweet about a trending topic. Do not go hashtag crazy, though, or things will start to get messy.
Photo Courtesy of Pinterest

Photo courtesy of Pinterest

Instagram

  1. Connect your Insta with your Facebook. The easiest way to rack up followers is to allow 1000 of your closest friends to see your username and fabulous pictures.
  2. Timing is everything. The largest amount of people tend to Instagram on Thursdays, but they end up buried in the flurry of #tbts. Sunday and Monday, believe it or not, have proven to be the best days to rack up likes. Preferably post after 3 p.m., so that your beautiful face will take its rightful place atop your victims’ newsfeeds just as they are free of the day’s responsibilities.
  3. Filter. Mayfair has shown to be the most effective in gaining likes, but it’s a judgment call here. Whatever makes you shine like the star you are.
  4. #puppiesforlikes #babiesforlikes #momforlikes #eeeats

According to sophomore social media sensation Elena C. Shepherd (avg. 153.7 likes per insta), “Everything has to be fabulous. That’s how you get mad likes. The people love it.”

You are welcome.

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