Dear Humans of BC,
You are a fine-ass group of people. Literally, you are significantly more attractive that 99% of earth’s population; I think it’s a scientific algorithm that they use in the admissions process. But if there’s one thing I cannot stand about you people is how much you downtalk your own bodies. I am DONE with you gorgeous specimens looking in the mirror and picking apart how much you hate your thighs or your stomach or questioning if you’ve drank enough muscle milk to look swole as hell, bruh. I do not have time to analyze if your left eyebrow is on fleek when I could be dancing, and neither do you. College is short, and we are never going to be as fine fresh funky fierce as we are right now. Your outfit is perfect, but it’s missing the swag sauce, dripping swagu. So put on this ballerific playlist and start the night feeling like the damn sexy rock starz you are. And if you spend more time dancing than you do perfecting your eyeliner or the collar on your Vineyard Vines button-down, well I think we’re all the better for it. One more thing: treat yo’ self to mozz sticks, guilt-free.
So Good (Good Ass Intro)--Chance the Rapper
Excellent song amplified by the fact that it rips on the Green Bay Packers and a great way to start your day/night/study sess/gym/tan/laundry.
Just Fine—Mary J Blige
I wish Mary J could be my life coach. Or fairy godmother. The woman is wise and damn can she make a freaking jam.
Good Day—Nappy Roots
Nothing like a great children’s chorus to make you feel like you’re about to have a straight fire day. Although I'm not sure about mixing orange KoolAid with Patrón.
I –Kendrick Lamar
Probably impossible to listen to this song and not feel freaking awesome. Our boy Kenny putting out solid gold as per usual.
You’re So Beautiful—Empire Cast
First of all, if you’re not watching Empire literally get out right now. Seriously leave and don’t come back until you’ve seen the glory that is 13 episodes of Cookie Lyon. Then see if you can listen to this song and not put it on repeat for the rest of your life.
Phallic innuendos aside, this song is very well hung. SUNG. THE SONG IS WELL SUNG. Bye.
I Am A God—Kanye West
All I want in life is for someone to love me as much as Kanye West loves Kanye West. Definitely a struggle to figure out which conceited Yeezus song deserved to be on this playlist, but I think this one takes the cake. Also, finally someone appreciates the glory that is a good croissant.
Don’t Stop Me Now—Queen
This is one of those stand-on-a-chair-and-belt-into-a-Pringles-can type of songs. Channel your inner Freddie Mercury and try not to scare your roommates too much, that is if they can resist joining in.
Work It—Missy Elliott
If you haven’t been playing this song on repeat since the Super Bowl I don’t know who the heck you think you are.
You better believe Prince is on this playlist. Live every day like you are Prince. #WWPD. What a spectacular human being.
No explanation needed.
Despite the regrettable fact that he spends his days mentoring Justin Bieber and being a judge on The Voice, Usher sure can put out a catchy hit. Good luck not listening to this song 12 times in a row.
Pretend you've got a flock of fly women and reflect on the fact that Dolla was taken from us too soon. #RIPDolla
I Think I Can Beat Mike Tyson--The Fresh Prince
If teenage Will Smith can take on Mike Tyson, you can take on that midterm or interview or large pepperoni pizza with extra cheese all by yourself.
Relive the glory days of middle school and remember that if JT could make it out of his ramen-noodle-hair awkward phase then there's hope for us all.
I Wanna Dance with Somebody—Whitney Houston
Whit is the queen and I am a firm believer that belting her songs is the cure for pretty much everything. 10/10 would belt again.
All Star—Smash Mouth
Please do not actually put this on your playlist. Oh my god it’s so annoying after about 3 seconds. Just remember that it exists and remember how badass you felt when you listened to it before your 3rd grade basketball games. Also the fact that it was in Shrek. The End.
Bottoms Up—Keke Palmer
Miss Keke P with an oldie but a goodie that should be on every pregame playlist in America.
I’m Too Sexy—Right Said Fred
I wanted so badly not to include this song on the playlist. But here we are.
Number 1 (#1)--Nelly
"Two is not a winner and three nobody remembers".....Pretty sure this is the song Tom Brady rolled around listening to for the entire month of February.
Love Yourz—J Cole
This is a slower one for those late night feels to reflect on the good times we’re in the middle of. No such thing as a life that’s better than yours. Especially if your life includes tickets to Cole World’s tour this summer.
Mind Your Manners—Chiddy Bang ft. Icona Pop
Fabulous song that really deserved to be more popular, and on top of that Grandma would be pleased that you're remembering your table manners.
Not Drake's best per se, but a classic nonetheless and great for jamming even if you don't have your nails done hair done everything did.
Bad Ass Bitch—Kool John
This song is pretty straightforward, but if you missed his point see also "Bitch I Look Good," also by Kool John.
Hasta que Salga el Sol--Don Omar
Let out your Latin side and Samba all night to this song....no one has to know you're not actually on Fuego del Corazon.
I Believe I Can Fly--R. Kelly