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The Weekly Diatribe

BC Elevators Wrong On So Many Levels

BC elevators are currently the bane of my existence. I never thought I’d be one to get worked up about something so trivial, but the Williams Hall elevator, which is so slow it encourages me to take the stairs, proves me wrong every day. I think I actually spend more time waiting for elevators in one day than I do in the Eagle’s sandwich line per week. After the long trek to Williams, gasping for air and holding back the tears that fill every CoRo residents’ eyes, the least I deserve is an elevator that operates faster than eduroam’s connection speed. The Williams elevator situation has gotten so out of hand that I actually am surprised when the elevator doesn’t make a pit stop between floors or produce sounds that could only be attributed to witchcraft. Residents of 90, Vandy and Walsh--count your blessings. Well, except for those of you who got stuck in the Walsh elevator and had to be rescued--my condolences. Though it is true that elevators in BC residence halls are universally atrocious, I think CoRo’s batch takes the cake for the lowest level of functionality. I feel like BC should prioritize working elevators over replacing the grass every time a brown patch appears, but hey, that’s just me.

“That thing is cursed.”--Priya Atiyeh MCAS ‘18

“The elevators are slower than rocks that don’t move.”--Jack Pillion CSOM ‘18

“I came to college hoping to get over my fear of elevators, but the elevators here at BC have only confirmed that I’ll be taking the stairs for the rest of my life.”--Taylor Whittaker MCAS ‘18

“I spend more time waiting for elevators than I do in class.”--Conor Finn CSOM ‘18

Caitlyn Feeney, MCAS ‘18, declined to comment because she is still recovering from getting stuck in the Williams elevator.


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Proud Mainah. Boyband & semicolon enthusiast. Hopes to one day live in a world where guac is not extra. My dog is better than yours.