Tori Fisher / Gavel Media

The Weekly Diatribe: V5

I don’t know if this is common knowledge, but there is a cult of people at BC who cut the sandwich line in Eagle's. Yes, you read that correctly. In a place where dreams come true with a side of chips and a pickle, there is a group of our own kind trying to disturb the peace. And I am not happy about it.

Truly I could complain about any aspect of Eagle's. Anything from the dreadful bend in the salad line, to the groups of thirty that claim a table meant for five, the lunch time rushes, and “are you using this chair?” is up for grabs. But there is a balance. All those annoying traits don’t matter when you take the first bite of your Tuscan Chicken. It’s all suddenly worth it. However, the appearance of these cutters might just be the push to knock over the delicate status quo.

This epidemic is the kind of thing I want to hear UGBC candidates campaigning about. It would be nice to have printers on lower but ridding the world of the notorious Eagle's Nest cutters is top priority. In a world full of so many who have waited unholy amounts of time in the hopes that Maria will be the one to craft their delicacy there exists no hierarchy. As we step into Eagle's, all our titles in the social, academic, and athletic ladders disappear. In Eagle's we are all just people who don’t want to eat in Mac.

By bypassing the line the cutters are wordlessly suggesting that there is a hierarchy—an exclusive one that has placed all of us who wait in line on a lower echelon. I may be mistaken or over exaggerating (or both) but this is the kind of injustice our founding fathers would have wanted us to stand up against.

But I digress. I can protest all I want, but there will still be people who saunter on up to the counter, sweet talk the staff, and get their sandwich in under five minutes. Their forgoing of the line increases our wait by a minute or more, time we will never get back. But don’t say anything, because you wouldn’t want to be the rude one in this scenario.

Ohio on the map, Boston in my heart. Just a shockingly pale girl who is emotionally overinvolved in sports, hummus, and sitcoms.