Frankie Mancini / Gavel Media

Putting The Brakes On Proposals

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Colin Jost turned to his Saturday Night Live (SNL) colleague, Pete Davidson, with a smirk. “What’s the prenup situation?”

“Well, obviously I wanted one, you know, [because] God forbid we split up and she takes half my sneakers!” Davidson feigned his concern to an eruption of laughter.

The newly-minted relationship between heralded pop icon Ariana Grande and comedian Pete Davidson threw the world of pop culture for a loop this past summer. Coming to a peak in June with their engagement announcement—just weeks after they had officially defined their relationship—the pair seemed to be a force to be reckoned with.

Jost’s whole SNL sequence, at the time, had seemed premature if not inappropriate. Of course they wouldn’t have to deal with a prenup anytime soon—ideally, never at all. They were in love! They were proving us all wrong with the amount of love they shared! They were decorated in matching tattoos! Oh, how I wish that could have remained the truth. Unfortunately, a mere two weeks after Jost’s interview, the world was rocked for a second time with the news that Pete and Ariana weren’t even going to make it to the altar, let alone Pete’s closet floor as they divvied his shoe collection.

I can’t be the only one feeling completely exhausted with the throwaway relationships that parade their way into the media spotlight, brushed off to the side almost as soon as they’ve come to light with announcements of “breaks,” “divorces,” and commitments called off. It feels as though they’re making a mockery of what it means for a couple to devote themselves to one another. The value that comes with taking things slowly and cherishing the early stages of a relationship cannot be emphasized enough.

At the very least, dragging fans through their public displays of affection only to pull the rug out from under them is frustrating and not helpful to either side. Grande foreshadowed the relationship between her and Davidson before it was even up and running, telling her manager after some of the pair’s earliest encounters, “I’m marrying him 100 percent. I’m literally marrying him.” Now, that early prediction of Grande’s is just a bittersweet reminder of what almost was.

This is the same woman who just released a single titled “thank u, next” on November 3, during which she blows kisses to Davidson and other ex-lovers who have supposedly helped her personal growth. ‘And for Pete, I’m so thankful’ is a sweet line, but it also confirms the past tense of their relationship. The blissful, honeymoon phase of her and Davidson’s relationship was cut short, and as a result, they won’t get to see a honeymoon at all.

When I heard that Ariana and Pete had broken things off, I’d been sitting at my desk scrolling through Snapchat. Upon reading the headline, I whirled around so quickly that my stiff, wooden dorm chair almost toppled backward. Mouth gaping, I’d sputtered to my roommate, “Did you see what happened with Ariana an-?”

She’d nodded with raised eyebrows, finishing my words in her head. “Yep.”

Maybe this reaction says more about me and my unfounded concern with the love lives of people I’ve never met than it does about 21st century relationships. Maybe I should have known it never could have lasted. The truth is, though, I’d been rallying for them. So what if they come from opposite ends of the industry? They’re young, but not that young. Sometimes, you just know about a person.

Or, in this case, they thought they knew.

Despite some angry subtweets from Grande and some additional, more bitter late-night televised jokes, Davidson did use his SNL spotlight this past weekend to wish her well with the statement, “Sometimes things just don’t work out, and that’s okay. She’s a wonderful, strong person, and I genuinely wish her all the happiness in the world.” That being said, the pain that goes into breaking off a potential marriage could have been prevented by a more cautious entryway into that stage.

The unfortunate close to Davidson and Grande’s fleeting romance is proof that people need to slow down when it comes to relationships. Sliding a ring into the situation does not substitute as a band-aid for underlying problems. No one will look down on you for taking a reasonable amount of time—any period longer than twelve months, really—before bringing marriage into the equation.

As Boston College students, we are blasted with statistics reporting that an especially high percentage of students meet their significant others through university connections. While this is an exciting proposition, I urge my fellow classmates to wait until after graduation before popping the question. Sitting at late night two tables away from an ex can be difficult, but not as difficult as sitting two tables away from an ex-fiancée.

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Next to writing, some of my favorite ways to spend time include designing Spotify playlists for friends and making grocery runs to Trader Joe's. I'm drinking coffee or tea almost constantly, and my mantra is the classic yet undeniably basic, "If it's meant to be, it will be!"