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Happy May Eags! Although the semester is drawing to a close, there’s still much to be anticipated: Modstock, finals, and of course the return of the campus tulips. Compiled below is a collection of horoscopes to guide you throughout the month of May. Keep in mind that they were written by a collection of overworked and under-slept Gavel writers, not real astrologers, so heed our advice with a bit of caution.
Aries (March 21 – April 19): Someone is going to take your unassigned assigned seat in class this month. Don’t get upset but instead use this as an opportunity to sit next to your class crush instead and strike up a conversation.
Taurus (April 20 – May 20): Call your mom this month. Without you at home, she’s been going through a bit of a midlife crisis. Also, remember that although you’ve been stressed with finals, you are allowed to take a breather.
Gemini (May 21 – June 20): You know you shouldn’t skip class to see Dominic Fike. You had never even heard of him before Modstock was announced. Plus, you got trashed at Jason Derulo and no one wants a repeat of that.
Cancer (June 21 – July 22): This month you’ll finally patch things up with the roommate you’ve slightly hated all year. It’s too bad it couldn’t happen sooner, but enjoy the time you have left with them until you move to opposite ends of campus.
Leo (July 23 – August 22): You are a connoisseur of the BC Look Away. Stop casting your eyes downward whenever you see your roommates on campus. Say hi and maybe even offer to buy them lunch with all the meal plan money you have left.
Virgo (August 23 – September 22): You don’t actually have a crush on them, you have a crush on the idealized version of them you created in your mind. Do yourself a favor and let them go; you’ll be much less stressed if you do.
Libra (September 23 – October 22): Please stop taking phone calls in Bapst; you’re not as slick as you think you are. Put your phone on silent and commit to studying for finals (unless you want a repeat of last semester).
Scorpio (October 23 – November 21): Ask. Them. Out. There are only a few short weeks left in the semester, so if it doesn’t go well you don’t have to avoid them for long. Shoot your shot, you’ll regret it all summer if you don’t.
Sagittarius (November 22 – December 21): You'll end up with three copies of The Gavel's print edition because you’re too shy to say you already received one. Practice saying no to non-obligatory outings and events this month.
Capricorn (December 22 – January 19): You know very well that you have more than $200 dining bucks left. Offer to get your Virgo friend some coffee, Lord knows they need it. Don’t forget to make time for your friends this May.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18): Your suspicions are correct: they are flirting with you. Take a risk with your love life this month and it'll go well for you. We know “taking risks” isn’t really in your vocabulary, but maybe this will be your chance to change that.
Pisces (February 19 – March 20): You shouldn't change majors simply because you earned a B- in one class. You need to stick with things if you want to see results. (P.S. this advice applies to your major as well as every show you quit after the first episode.)
MCAS '25, Communications. Probably thinking of Parks and Rec fan theories and counting down the days until camp as you are reading this.
