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Maggie Vaughn and Jyllian Foster / Gavel Media

Lovesick: I Will Not Find My Future Spouse at BC

The Gavel's Diatribe acts as the satirical medium for short rants over topics ranging from complete triviality to utmost importance.

At the start of freshman year, I dreamed of a perfect Boston College romance. Walks along the Res, late nights in our dorms, and laying together on the quad on a warm sunny day. So romantic, am I right? Instead, I have gotten tremendously humbled with a painful Newton heartbreak and a dozen crushes that have gone nowhere. To broaden my horizon and get away from the small BC pool (partially out of desperation), I have plunged into dating apps, something I had been avoiding since I got to school.

Mindlessly swiping on Tinder like it's a game, I feel a deep sense of shame. Sure, I love a date being paid for once in a while and hooking up is alright, but I am tired. Could it be how I present myself on my profile? Could it be how hard it is to start and maintain an actual conversation with someone who probably just wants to hook up and then never talk again? Are my expectations just way too high? 

Since I find dating apps so tedious and disappointing, I have narrowed my crushes down to people in my classes or my building in search of the perfect “meet-cute” romance. Having a class crush is so much better. Poking my friends when I see them grace my presence in Mac or the Rat and us all collectively gawking at them just existing is so fun! It’s having someone who can motivate me to go to class because they will be there! Waking up early to make sure I can do my makeup for my Tuesday & Thursday 9 am is not my proudest moment, but the motivation from seeing them is what gets me to that early class.

I delusionally create situations of them asking me to hang out with them on Marathon Monday or getting lunch after class. I romanticize them as a person in my head, dreaming them up to be my perfect partner forgetting that we go to a Catholic school so there is a good chance they could be conservative or have values that just generally do not align with mine.

“What’s the worst thing that could happen having a class crush? It’s innocent and fun,” is what I’ve been telling myself until just this week. My most recent muse that I had been eyeing all semester dropped out of BC just after we matched on Tinder and I was left with the thought of what could have been if he hadn’t left. 

It seems as if the universe has no plans for me finding love at BC because it’s just bad experience after bad experience. I genuinely get confused when I see people in a happy long-term relationship, because I simply cannot comprehend finding my future spouse at BC. Shoutout to those couples that get married in Trinity Chapel after meeting on Newton freshman year; I have no idea how you did it.

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The short blonde girl with the pink headphones. Average insufferable political science major and sociology minor.

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