Whether you know it or not, you are probably in a parasocial relationship. This internet-created term is defined as “a relationship that a person imagines having with another person whom they do not actually know, such as a celebrity or a fictional character.” This has been a phenomenon with celebrities and their fans for a while now, but TikTok and its never-ending trends have made it much more prominent. And to no shame of those who may fit this definition, when I’m not paying attention to the media I’m consuming, I certainly fall down this path as well.
Depending on what celebrities or influencers you follow, you may experience this differently, but there are some universals. For example, with musicians, these relationships often spawn from influxes of concert videos, particularly of the musicians interacting with the audience. In this case, Taylor Swift, Harry Styles, and boygenius come to my mind. Constantly watching footage of their favorite artists affectionately interacting with the audience makes viewers think the personality they see online is who they truly are, even when one’s stage persona and real personality are often very different. This, compounded with more traditional forms of fangirling, makes these parasocial relationships stronger and more common. For example, take Taylor Swift: the constant media attention surrounding her concerts, her interactions with fans, and her relationship with Travis Kelce cause Swifties to speculate and discuss various aspects of her personal life over social media.
Another example of this comes from the recent phenomenon of influencer podcasts, including, but certainly not limited to, Emma Chamberlain, Brittany Broski, and Tana Mongeau. Again, admittedly, I love watching clips of popular podcasters on TikTok, but there are consequences to mindlessly consuming that media. Regular hour-long podcasts where these influencers talk about anything and everything often get listeners to believe they know the ins and outs of their personalities and life stories, leading to gossip and speculation about their personal lives.
Most would argue that engaging in parasocial relationships with celebrities is “chronically online” behavior. This term coined by internet users is defined by the Urban Dictionary as “Someone who is basically always on the internet and their entire existence revolves around being on the internet.” The definition makes the harsh accusation that “People who are chronically online typically have no real friends IRL, and stay online starting useless debates that literally achieve nothing outside of a screen.”
Being chronically online does not have a positive connotation, but are these accusations true? Does being chronically online or engaging in parasocial relationships mean you don’t have meaningful relationships in real life? Is there something wrong with us for chronically consuming media?
I think this is a two-fold issue. Having strong emotional connections to celebrities and spending a lot of our time online arguably takes away from our capacity to nurture our relationships in real life. The amount of time people spend online to build that type of connection could be spent elsewhere. In my experience, being online for too long can put us in a bit of a vacuum and even limit critical thinking. It can encourage us to listen to certain music, buy certain clothes, and “ship” certain celebrities. When people are stuck in that bubble for too long, they can put an unwarranted amount of time and energy into the lives of others. That may happen for a lot of different reasons– escapism, boredom, or even just entertainment.
However, I’m not sure if we are entirely to blame for this phenomenon. We are the consumers of content engineered to create these exact relationships. Emma Chamberlain became famous because of her relatability. Taylor Swift is a billionaire because of her adoring fans who try to solve every clue she leaves for them. It’s not shocking that we have become so enamored with people we will probably never meet. We are being fed the same movie promotions, the same creators, and the same political talking points that the algorithm knows we will like. Of course, we have the power to put the phone down, but it’s hard to engage with the internet without forming some type of attachment. However, that attachment can go too far, and we need to acknowledge that.
The most important thing we can do is be self-aware. We are allowed to enjoy watching TikToks and following our favorite creators, but that does not mean we should only enjoy those things. Just because you follow someone or listen to their music does not mean you are entitled to information about their life, and honestly, it probably isn’t healthy to care that much about someone else’s life.
insufferable poli sci major and opinions connoisseur
poli sci and history major who chronically rewatches movies/tv shows that were popular in middle school to feel something
